Joy

Yesterday was a day of events that will be conspicuous in history.

Violent protests broke out in major cities (including our own Philadelphia) over the May 25th death of George Floyd. "(Mr. Floyd), 46, died after being arrested by police outside a shop in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Footage of the arrest on 25 May shows a white police officer, Derek Chauvin, kneeling on Mr Floyd's neck while he was pinned to the floor." [detail taken from BBC News report]

Also yesterday, 2 astronauts launched to the International Space Station. For the first time in almost 10 years, astronauts left from US soil to the ISS. And they did so on a vehicle developed and built by a private rocket company.

And still affecting life around the globe - the Coronavirus.

I struggled with the juxtaposition of these events. I was (am) so excited about the launch; the happening of it and what it can mean for the future of space travel and for our world. At the same time, I was acutely aware of the violence happening in my own and other cities around the country; and what it says about who we (still) are. 😢 Personally, I felt like an emotional yo-yo. I finished the day at the low point. Somehow it felt wrong to be happy about anything.

I woke up without the energy to take a long walk I had planned. The sunshine and bright blue skies, though, called me out.

I have to admit now that part of my depression last night was concern that others would see me as nothing more than a 'Pollyanna' - and not in a good way. 

As I walked this morning, taking in the beauty all around me, I thought myself out of my funk. I slowly but surely came to the realization that it's OKAY to feel joy amidst the chaos, confusion and crud of the world. Being joyful doesn't mean one is oblivious to other things. Taking joy in happy things or good news, is a conduit for the positive energy needed to deal with the chaos. It gives me energy to find ways to educate myself about my place in, and responsibility for, the white fragility that fuels the injustices in the world. It's going to take a lot of energy to work on that and make a difference. 

So, to anyone else who is feeling lost in an emotional roller coaster (today or anytime), I'd like to say that it IS okay to Keep Smiling and Keep Moving. 

-Paula