I've been inspired to write about it again by a segment on the "Hidden Brain" Podcast. As a believer in the statement "money does not buy happiness", the title of this episode Emotional Currency: How Money Shapes Human Relationships sucked me right in. I was really curious how this was going to go. I did not expect to make a connection to mediation, but it was hard not to with this statement near the beginning of the episode:
"The problem with barter is it really does depend on us each meeting each other's needs in that moment. And so the origin story of money that we have is that humans invented money essentially to be a mediator in these sorts of exchanges."I began to mull the statement over. Probably way more than is necessary or appropriate. In fact, I missed the rest of the episode and how to go back and listen again to get it. It was a great listen. I do recommend it.
Back to my post - I had not thought of mediation as barter before ..... but it works. When two individuals or groups are in conflict or disagreeing over an outcome, mediation offers them the opportunity to find common ground upon which to communicate their needs and wants to resolve the issue. That statement is almost textbook mediation speak. Yet look how similar it is to the statement from the podcast about barter.
It's true, though. In mediation, the mediator facilitates communication to help the participants to think beyond the issue that's causing the impasse and discover what each needs or wants out of the relationship (personal or business). Sometimes that means helping them understand that a relationship even exists but that's a topic for another post perhaps.
Once the needs and wants are on the table, it becomes a matter of finding how the participants can exchange, satisfy or help with the needs or wants of the other then to use that to resolve the impasse. This is not nearly as simple as that statement makes it sound. Sometimes it can take hours or even days to work out but simply put the role of the mediator is to keep the parties focused on and moving toward potential success until they discover it.
Mediation is built on the principle of self-determination. The barter analogy helps understand that. In this context, self-determination means that the parties are the only ones who can know what they want and how to resolve the impasse. A judge may be able to settle the matter by imposing laws, rules or regulations but the settled effect is often temporary because it doesn't address what even the winner really wanted. Unless vengeance is really what they wanted.
Self-determination means finding the thing(s) we have to barter with. Sometimes the things to be exchanged are easily identified and tangible and we can see the connection or resolution on our own. When they are not, a mediator helps the parties explore and recognize the possibilities. The mediator does not have an opinion on how the matter should be resolved only that it probably can be.
I titled this post "The Economics of Mediation" before I started writing it. I chose it because of the connection between the words money and economics and the title of the podcast that inspired the post. But being the anxious personality that I am, I just looked up economics to be sure that my sense of the word matched its appropriateness for the title.
The first Google hit for "economics" reads "the branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and transfer of wealth." The first google hit for "wealth" reads "an abundance of valuable possessions or money." The title works for me. I hope this post works for you.
Keep Smiling Keep Moving
-Paula
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