Penance

Penance can be defined as voluntary self-punishment inflicted as an outward expression of repentance for having done wrong.

It wasn't wrong to walk yesterday's planned run, But I decided I needed to try again today.

Since yesterday's planned run was on the Valley Forge loop I decided to use the Media 5 Mile course. It's the closest thing I have to the hills of Valley Forge without having to drive anywhere. I'm pleased to say I finished but it was anything but pretty.

The Media 5 mile course is 2 - 2.5 mile circuits. I have a hard time calling them loops since they are made up of turns on town streets. My plan was to walk from my house to 8th and Jackson and begin my timer. 1 minute walk then continue down Jackson; left on 6th; right on Edegmont; left on 2nd; right on Haldeman; right on Front to Media Elementary is one mile. Another minute walk then left on Monroe; right on State; right on West; right on Front; left on Olive to mile 2 at 2nd and Olive; 1 minute walk then continue on Olive to right on 8th to Jackson. (Repeat).

I walked again at 8th and Jackson partly because I didn't want to calculate and remember where mile 3 and 4 where AND (probably more so) it was a reward for conquering 8th street. I have a love/hate relationship going on with that hill. It loves to torment me and I hate it. I do it because "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? And I'm not dead................yet :)

I'm happy and proud to say I finished the miles, but as I mentioned earlier it was not pretty. Very quickly into the run I felt like I was being choked by my base layer. I've been wearing it all winter and it's been fine. Why today? The temperature was warmer than yesterday but still cold enough to need it. I spent most of the first mile being annoyed by it. I finally decided it was because I signed up for the race on Friday. It wasn't the shirt that was bothering me it was the realization that I'm really doing this. The 'pressure' to actually do it is real now. The shirt collar bothered me a little less after I self talked myself out of being bothered by it. The self talk went along the lines of "I do not want to fail at this event but it's ok if I do and oh by the way at 5 miles you are more than 1/3 of the way to race day total".

Other self talk today included "No one expects you to be fast except you sometimes, so knock it off". This while I was trudging up one of the hills and wondering if I should even bother trying to run up the hill.

I have to admit to cheating on the walk breaks a today. After the first one they were more like 1.5 minutes. And I did bail on the second attempt up the hill on Front Street between West and the Bar Association building. But, and this is a HUGE but, --- I nailed 8th Street ---- twice!! And for that I thank anyone who is reading this. I really wanted to be able to tell you that I did.

Keep smiling and keep moving
-Paula