Listen to the Grass Grow and Other Things My Dad Taught Me.

Me and Dad 1978. I am 18; he is 43. 

My Dad died on May 8, 2019. He had cancer. He beat it down during the spring, summer and fall of 2018. It came back metastasized to his bones in February 2019. He tried to beat it down again but it was stronger than the available treatments. On Saturday, May 4th, he was taken to the emergency room. He had made it clear what he didn't want at the end of his life so the decision to start hospice was - not easy by any means - but it was easy to accept it as the right decision. It was clearly what he wanted.

The two weeks since he first went to the ER have been a chaotic time. My brain keeps wandering on a path all its own. Thoughts of my dad, my family, the past, the future. The lack of control for someone that thrives on order along with my ever-present self-doubt have made for some roller coaster adventures. I'm not a fan of roller coasters. :( 

On the up side, my wandering brain has landed often on what we'd call Dad-isms. There are many. I'll share two with you here. 

Listen to the Grass Grow. I'm sure he said it more than once but the memory it conjures up for me is our family and my cousins traipsing around Longwood Gardens. Between us at that time there were 12 children (6 of us and 6 of them) with about 9 years between oldest and youngest. 12 kids and 4 grownups. Even if my grandmother was there the odds were still in the kids favor. So here we are at Longwood Gardens. It was as hot as "you know where". Quite frankly I think it may have been hotter. We were cranky. Dad told us that if we could be very quiet we might be able to hear the grass grow. I don't think that bought him a lengthy peace - although we were just young enough to stop and think about it for a minute or two. "Listen to the Grass Grow" has stuck with me all these years. It comes back to me often. As I've gotten older, it has come to remind me of the need to stop, think and listen; to experience what's going on around you. 

Read with 'Spression. I don't know if dad actually said 'spression or if that came from one of us kids butchering the right word. Either way it was Dad who encouraged us to read with expression. To this day I (and likely all my brothers and sisters) can recite A.A. Milne's Poem -Disobedience by heart and with appropriate inflection and giving the various speaking parts the appropriate tone. All because Dad has us read it out loud with 'spression. It's the expression that makes a difference and makes it stick. Whenever I have to give a presentation at work (which is often) I think of the words I want to use and how I can say them with 'spression. Trust me, it works. I'm pretty sure I read to myself with 'spression too. :) 

I told you earlier that the last two weeks have brought me chaos of the brain. Staying focused on anything has been really hard. It's not that my thoughts are bad ones. I just wish I could have them when I want to and not all willy-nilly as they have been. I've been wondering if taking up meditation would help. Maybe if I practiced meditation I could get stronger in the head. I'm still not sure if I'll try it or not but it occurred to me the other day that my impression of meditation is that it is a lot like listening the the grass grow. 

Keep Smiling Keep Moving (and listen to the grass grow)

-Paula 

It's All About Finishing

Sun and blue skies at the start and throughout the run

I think all my running adventures are about finishing and this one was no different. Ok, it was a little bit different. Two weeks ago my family's lives were turned upside down and sideways when my Dad went into the hospital. 4 days later he died. The details are better left to another post but as you can imagine it's been a whirlwind of ups and downs since then. I know I'm not the only one whose daily routine took a flying leap.

Most of my training runs also flew the coop. I've run twice in the last two weeks. Neither was great and the last one - this past Wednesday - was downright painful. So today was about making it through the planned 9 miles. Even if I had to walk the last bit I was going to go the distance. 

I was grateful once again to have David running with me. He is faster on a normal day but understands the value of a long slow run. I've taken on the role of his long run 'pacer'. 😎 😉Running with David (or any one else for that matter) forces me to think about my pace and keep it even and slow. Since I know David (and most everyone else for that matter) is naturally faster than me - after warning him once again I'm going slow and I'm ok if he wants to take off - I have to force myself to stay slow. It's too easy when running with others to let them set the pace.

I was comfortable through about 7 miles before I felt the lead come back into my legs. So I focused on my breathing and reminded myself I only had to run 3 minutes at a time. As we entered the final 3/4 mile David asked if I was ok and did I think I wanted an extra walk break. I declined. We were so close I was determined to power through. We did and we finished.

Keep Smiling Keep Moving (and listen to the grass grow)
-Paula

Bitten by a Bite Valve

Today I ran 8 miles along Forbidden Drive.

Although not all my outings here have been great, I think it might be impossible not to feel peaceful here. And that makes up for any less than great outing. However, today was a very good one. The weather was perfect. Cloudy and the temperature were between 56-58 the entire time. I did get spritzed on in my last mile but even that could not dampen (pun intended) my spirits.

I started with a plan to go out 4 and back 4 because (in case you are not paying attention or have had too many mint juleps in anticipation of today's horse race) 4+4=8. 😋 As I passed Valley Green Inn I had the thought to go out to 4 1/2  before turning around. This would allow me to stop at the covered bridge and walk back from there to my car from there.

The extra distance out would mean a significant (relative to the rest of the path) uphill on my return. I decided it was worth it since the walk portion would allow me to take a few photos like the one at the top of this post. So I went for it.

As I mentioned earlier I had a great time today. I felt comfortable and on the return trip I even felt strong. On a scale between "plodding along" and "smooth running" I felt farther away from "plodding along" than I can ever remember. For about 5 seconds (if even that) I toyed with the idea of continuing my run/walk interval from the bridge back to my car. But I knew if I did that and failed, it would ruin my feel good. So I stuck to walking the mile back to the car.

And now for the 'are you kidding me' moment of the day. Early on in my miles, I released the bite valve on my hydration pack before getting my tongue out of the way. I didn't think it was possible but the valve 'bit' my tongue. I doubt I could do that again on purpose. Oh and yes it hurt!

Keep Smiling and Keep Moving
-Paula